Wednesday, April 27, 2016


(music: Part of Your World - Sara Bareilles)

up where they walk, up where they run
up where they stay all day in the sun
wandering free, wish I could be 
part of that world

what would I give, if I could live

out of these waters?
what would I pay, to spend a day
warm on the sand?

betcha on land, they understand

that they don't reprimand their daughters
bright young women, sick of swimmin',
ready to stand

oh, ready to know what the people know
ask 'em my questions and get some answers
"what's a fire and why does it -what's the word- burn?"

when's it my turn? wouldn't I love,

love to explore that shore up above
out of the sea, wish I could be
part of that world

I think it's so adorable, from Sara starting off the performance with jokingly asking the audience to fuck off, when they told her not to use the microphone, and her getting everyone into the chorus, and people following along the monologue, and Sara actually narrating the sound effects, while singing

I can't wait for her to be Ariel in The Little Mermaid concert, which I will probably watch in a cinema version or on Youtube or something. I miss her concert, when someone just a row behind me proposed to his girlfriend with a song that I would use at my wedding (pretty standard wedding song, to be honest).

Speaking of weddings, April has been a rather hectic month, with weddings and birthdays and whatnot.

Two weekends ago, Farah got married to the love of her life, Hanis. I still remember when Farah and I were working in the same office and he baked brownies for her, and it was delicious and it was such a sweet gesture.

Photos at the wedding were taken by Ainul, who is the tallest girl I know, I think. I mean, I think my family is tall, and then there's Ainul.

It was Hanis' birthday but he had a surprise bouquet for Farah.

He also had a really sweet, really touching wedding vow and I was close to tears but I didn't wanna cry so I distracted myself by talking to someone else instead hahahah. I cry at about 99.42% of all weddings I attend.

I'm so, so happy for Farah and Hanis, may the happy couple last forever!

I am... family! But also how on point is Ainul's outfit???? She looks straight out of the 80's, so adorable with her hairband and polka dot dress. ERGH CUBIT BARU TAU.

After the wedding, we went to play board games at the games cafe at Prinsep St, because my work daughter Noran wanted to. Why we so manjakan her ah, why.

Min is like the Ed Sheeran to my Taylor Swift. I love Swift/Sheeran's friendship and I think that's how Min is for me.

Ini minah tudung tak kuasa.

Noran and her boyfriend were really cute and kept doing things like taking photos together, and he would randomly kiss her, and it made me miss Nick, and I got so very wistful that night.

This was the point where we were all just waiting for Noran to make the wrong move and make the Jenga tower collapse. Case in point: Min taking a handful of popcorn for entertainment.


We also played this game I'd never heard of before (HOW AND WHY), called Dirty Minds.

I am the worst at it, I had the fewest points all the time because my mind was the dirtiest and I could not for the life of me not think of innuendo????? It was really fun, it challenges my brain hahahahaha. After Taboo, Dirty Mind is probably my favourite game.

much glam such wow

ni dah apehal eh kena sampuk ke?

Last Monday, Ekta's family held a surprise party to celebrate her 25th birthday as well as her final exams for uni, and possibly her entire life. At the last minute, her father realised that all the guests' shoes outside the door would have made her suspicious, so he grabbed them in quickly. Poor uncle!

She said she'd guessed that something was up, but not the magnitude of it, still.

Ekta and her adorable niece Anya. Ekta was going to sing Under The Sea to make Anya laugh, and she counted off "one, two, three" so everyone would sing with her and she sang loudly and nobody else did, and it was so funny I was so amused by both Ekta and Anya, really everyone mintak kena cubit.

I'm so proud of our modern-day Mother Teresa. She's got great plans ahead, and I think she'll love what she's doing. It's the best one could ask for!

I like the tradition of feeding everyone else your cake, I'm not sure what it means, though.

Happy family. :)

On Friday, for Atiqah's birthday, the girls and I went to Hyde & Co. which is finally Halal-certified, so I didn't have to feel bashful about eating there with my besties. ;P

Derrick (who owns the cafe) remembered me from our Pangdemonium days, and unexpectedly sent over a complimentary cup of iced apple tea! That was nice!

Us saying our "Asian grace" by taking photos of the food. Does anyone know why this is such a popular thing among Asians and not Westerners????

The food was really good, and we especially liked the nasi lemak risotto and the chilli crab pasta. The beef brisket man tou was also quite good.

The aftermath.

Atiqah and her outfit of presents. ;)

(Also: inb4 all of you start, yes she's gorgeous and smart/studying to be a doctor, and nice, and quite literally renders me speechless with her existence all the time, have no idea how I hang with perfect crowds of perfect people.)

The lemon cake that we had for dessert was sooooo gooooooood. Shahida and I couldn't contain ourselves, it was really damn good. We are definitely going back for more of everything!

The cafe is more specialised in teas, instead of coffees, which makes it really my thing, because I love teas! I really gotta take my hat off to Derrick, the cafe is impressive in all aspects.

On Saturday, I met Bhavs and Ekta, this time to celebrate Bhavs' birthday early.

Asian grace. Can I get an Amen? (To be honest, the food here was so-so, so there's no need to mention the place. The staff were nice, though!)

Bhavs and Ekta were doing their initiation of me into being a Sindhi (heheheh Bhavs = Cindy). They told me to watch Queen and Yeh Jawaani Hei Deewani on that very night, and not sleep at all. Leken kyaa?

Hindi is one of the eight languages I aim to be able to codeswitch in, in my lifespan. It's not one of my focuses at the moment, though, I don't have much time to watch lengthy Bollywood movies.

We went to Non Entree desserts cafe afterwards. (Sorrynotsorry, too lazy to type the accented E's.)

We ordered the mango ice sago thing, that's shaped like a Rubber Duckie. This was so refreshing and one-of-a-kind! I liked it!

We also had the matcha lava cake. WAH THIS. This is possibly, probably the best matcha food item I've ever had. It was soooooo gooooooood. Matcha cake of the perfect consistency, with matcha molten lava oozing from inside, served with azuki, and ice-cream and waffle biscuit. WAH SHIOK PLEASE I want again.

While walking back to the train station, we saw this:

Is it got no point to say beware! railing???? Is it people crazy liao make stupid signs??

Speaking of is its, Huda and I were being fucking annoying (as we are) before we met on Sunday.


If you don't understand what the heck we're doing, congratulations, you're not annoying. (which means: fuck off, you can't sit with us.)

Here lies a photo that lies about how annoying this one can be. I don't mean annoying in a bad way, though, I can be just as annoying and I love that we are so annoying without annoying each other.

Huds had the pistachio and some other ice-cream I forgot, I think possibly 'cos it's not one of my favourites (although the pistachio is A++++++++++++ on point).

I had earl grey lavender and banana choc chip crumble. May I just say my favourite food OF ALL TIME is ICE-CREAM.

We joked about how we became friends because of our blogs, how we were in the same school but did not talk to each other apart from TAGGING EACH OTHER'S TAGBOARDS. And the multiple tags because there were character limits to a tag, and the worrying about whether the hover-link colours would match our blogskins, isit funny or not last time that was our world and worries????

Huda is bless, thank fam YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


So recently, I've been losing weight. I used to be able to wear a ring on my ring finger, but now my mum has had to wound some thread around it so it would fit the same.

Hahahahahaha what, it looks like cling wrap??

I wear two rings on my finger, both are from my family. Because familial love is for life, after all.

Some people ask why I'm so thin I'm practically disappearing. Or I can see my colleagues trying to lose weight, and saying I have it easy because I'm skinny.

I don't pretend to understand and I don't deny that being bigger-sized comes with its fair share of troubles and stigma, I wish it wasn't the case because I don't know which ugly-on-the-inside fuck decided that being skinny was beautiful, what is so attractive about it, it's just shallow.

Sometimes, I think if I'm in a really ironic mood, or completely not ironic, I would just tell them the truth. The truth is made up of a few factors.

I have overactive sweat glands, and I perspire all the time. I'm not inclined to putting on weight. I'm broke-as-fuck, I was working three jobs for the past two months, and I didn't have enough rest. I also didn't have money to spend on food, so I packed food from home for lunch, and if I was still hungry, I would get snacks from my office pantry. Sometimes I would be in too much of a rush travelling from the office to my other jobs, I don't have time to eat dinner. My appetite diminishes when I'm lovelorn, and despite being hungry, I don't seem to want to eat. I woke up the other night from a dream that I'd written to the man I love, pleading for him to wait for me. I can't get back to sleep, so I stay up the rest of the night, night after night, crying and tossing and turning. I think and I think and I think about him, but I tell myself, if I do go over, I would be adding on to his worries. I don't want to worry him, he has had enough stress in his life. Once upon a time, I would fight for my loves, fight to get what I love, be so self-assured that as right as they are for me, I would be right for them. Now, not so much. I know he has gone through enough in his life, I know of things that have happened that are really hard to face up to, and I just want the best for him. I think, some other girl who's from there, who doesn't have to fight to stay there, who doesn't have to make him fight for her to stay there, would probably be best for him. He has had enough drama in his life, as have I. I feel slightly more mature than I used to be. I think, I must really like this guy. I like him more than I like myself. I know he would be good for me, but I, I wouldn't be good for him, and I don't want that. I am an adult.

You are welcome to pick and choose any of the factors if you want to lose weight, and see if they work for you, but me, I think I'd rather exchange my life with any of you and be happy instead. It is exactly two weeks till I turn twenty-six. I used to wish for money or love or material things, but now all I want is to be happy. I want to be happy for and despite and because of all the things in my life.

May the month of May bring so many flowers after April showers! (PS. I don't like flowers so that's not literal. I like ice-cream. Please take me out for ice-cream, I would love multiple ice-cream outings for my birthday. Thank you.)

So much love!