Monday, April 20, 2015


(music: On Another Love - Tom Odell)

on another love, another love
all my tears have been used up

and if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight
but my hand's been broken one too many times

so I'll use my voice
I'll be so fucking rude

Last week, I went to Blackmores at Parkway Parade, for my naturopathic consultation with the iridologist, Kay Tse. Blackmores practises naturopath, meaning they believe and advocate that the body should rightfully be able to heal itself or right any imbalances with proper control of diet and lifestyle.

Iridology is kinda like acupuncture, but for eyes.

She scanned my eyes.... and then...

She explained what each of the visible signs in my eye represents. She says that my body is actually pretty strong (see guize, what have I told you, I have a really good immune system!!!!) but she correctly identified all the issues I've always had!!!! I was so impressed.

She says that the outer ring of my iris is slightly cloudy which signifies a lack of oxygen, and I have poor circulation, leading to feeling cold easily (NO WONDER I'M ALWAYS FREEZING IN THE OFFICE!!!!!!).

Kay Tse drew up this chart and explained how each of the foods that she recommended for me would help in providing my body with what it's currently lacking, and I was just so impressed by her knowledge of nutrition!!!!!!! I loved that she tried to find out the foods that I like to eat, to incorporate into my diet.

I feel that nutrition is such a cool, practical field of study to go into, because you can apply it all the time and help anyone in healthy living.

I got sponsored some really good supplements, so I thought, I might as well go all in and try eating slightly healthy and go with her meal plan.

I went and shopped for all this, and this is possibly the healthiest flatlay photo you'll ever see me taking. So far, everything has been going okay for breakfast, because I generally love greens and strawberries and any kind of bread and eggs and tomatoes anyway, but I found out I don't like tahini.

She said tahini is like this spread that's a good organic substitute for peanut butter but IT'S NOT. It tastes disgusting and I'd rather eat my wholemeal bread with soft-boiled egg than with tahini. Bleagh.

On Monday, my off day, I met Huda for lunch wherein we shrieked in laughter at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, and we wouldn't be able to tell you Why!!!! (HAHAHAHAHAHA) maybe we were just high after a slice of really sweet carrot cake.

At night, I went for dinner with my extended family, and it was blissful. I love that my extended family is tight. I saw the babies, and got to talk to my cousins. I'm generally very glad that I have such a family, I wouldn't change it for anything else.

This week at work: our graphic designer Dash came on board full-time.

He's a class A troll and I enjoy working with him. We were trolling around about having insulting/offensive captions about certain things on the cafe's social media accounts, so that it would garner us "bad publicity" very fast, which is publicity nonetheless. Damn funny ah, Dash is super kurang ajar.

The good thing about having Dash is he takes nice photos and edits them so they look professional, so now I can focus on writing copy and liaising with the media/advertisers/whomever.

He's been using my canon DSLR body but with his cool-ass lens with sharper focus. He sold off his DSLR body 'cos he says he doesn't use it but he won't sell his lens to me, he says he uses it with his film cameras, etc etc. Imma get a better lens for myself sooooon.

The photos are getting so professional, Dash uses reflectors and aluminium foil and whatnot.

He takes photos like these:

And then edits them to look like the below. As a design fuckwit, I find it similar to doing magic.

We had Sezairi over at & why... for an interview. Dash had the trollest comment about the interviewer, I was half-wishing I could caption it for our social media accounts, our cafes would be featured on national media instantly, I'd bet. HAHAHA.

We've got space for corporate event bookings, should you be interested! I really like the place, it's very cosy.

Even the posts about the staff in their themed attire (changes everyday) look so much better...

Dash took a photo of my supercolor shoes. He's also made troll comments about them.

This was the day I ate three lunches at work: first nasi lemak, then pasta, and finally, this salad. The salad was only because one of our advertising vendors had come over to photograph some dishes and the photographer wasn't gonna eat it, so I did! Otherwise it'd have gone to waste?!?

Dash says, "whatever explanation helps you sleep at night." Lolol I eat when I'm stressed, maybe??? It's a coping mechanism??? I just love food???

I spent a lot of time at work this week. I generally spend a lot of time at work, anyway. Sometimes my friends and peers (which means: you guize) say I have no life outside of work. Even when I meet people, I end work later than most people so it usually has to be either at one of our cafes, or it's in the nearby area of Bugis/Arab St.

I'm getting very tired. It's not that I don't enjoy my job, because I do, but the hours are long and tiring and I'm always running up and down, half the time they want to tap on my physical energy and the later half of the day I'm expected to use my brain, and I get very, very, very tired.

Just because I started working part-time as a service crew member and I know how the cafe works, I'm utilised anywhere I'm needed. Then when it comes to marketing services, by the time afternoon comes around, I haven't accomplished much and I'm already physically tired then it's like...

I feel that subconsciously they think I should have done all the things I'm supposed to have done, why don't I have the initiative? And I'm like, yeah you've seen me around for the past 4 hours, but I've been in the cafe actually cashiering, did you expect me to also think of/carry out marketing initiatives while I'm on the floor?

And I daresay I'm not the only one overstretched doing different things, so I know I'm in no position to complain, because if they can do it, why can't I, right? Well I guess different people are built differently. Some thrive on work, and some, like me, thrive on having a work-life balance. I don't know, it's just I don't feel comfortable living a life revolved around work.

I just wish we had more manpower so all this overlapping could and would end.

Whatever the case, this is my personal blog and these are just my personal views. I do know that for all the things I'm whining about, I am also blessed with very nice people at work who treat me like their family member, and there's always the pros and cons to every job. So yeah. At this point of time, it just feels like I'm too tired to remember the benefits.

On Tuesday night, I met up with Reen and Tim, at (guess where!) & why...

They were being darlings and wondering why I was so zen hehehehe. I loved catching up with them. Both of them liked & why...: the ambience and the drinks and the food. The good thing about working for these two cafes is that they are actually really good cafes, if I do say so myself.

Yes there are other cafes with good food and good concepts, and our cafes belong to that category. I generally feel very proud to identify myself as part of both cafes.

My colleagues on the service floor are all the most congenial, amiable people you could ever find to work a cafe, they're always getting such raving compliments, because they've got the hearts for it, and if I were served by people like them, it would make my day too, honestly.

The food and design/concepts of the two places are top-notch, I could sit and bask in the comfort and keep eating our food all the time. I've been eating the same food for more than a year, day in day out, yet I still find it delicious and diverse enough to keep satisfying my palate.

On Wednesday, I met Pamela and I would have brought her to try & why... except that it closes on Wednesdays. :(

So we went to The Lab, which is kinda just across the road, so you get what I mean about always being found in the same area.

I must have a disclaimer that outside of work, I use my own Canon lens, and I think something is wrong with the focus, I'm gonna get it fixed/serviced soooon, okay!!!!!!!!!!

I got Luke to help me surprise Pamela with a slice of cake for her birthday, it was earl grey cake, YUMMMMS.

Pamela liked her cake and the surprise, hehhehheh. I introduced Luke and Pamela to each other, but Luke said he remembers her from last year (she had aspirations to open a cafe of her own). He has really good memory and contacts, which might explain why he's succeeding as a business owner now.

Luke insulted me as usual, and then while he was talking to Pamela, I corrected his English so he said "eh really like old times ah? thanks for correcting my grammar bro."

It was nice reminiscing once upon a time when Luke Skywalker and Princess Leiana (because Sarah means Princess and Sarah Lyana, geddit?? Huda is a genius of puns) worked together.

Pamela is feeling very tired out and upset by recent events in her life, but I hope she knows it's okay, it's always darkest before the dawn. (Shake it out! Shake it out! Ooh-oh-oh!)

On Thursday, I was at & why... again, this time with Bhavs after too damn long of not having met her.

We filled each other in on our lives, and I told her about the time I got a booty call from an ex-mentor last year (no y'all probably don't know about this, this was an obscure incident that I didn't blog about but still have evidence of lolol) because she knows the person as well. Ergh strange memories.

In any case, if any of you wondered why I'm zen, it's kinda 'cos I received some closure. Besides getting closure, I also got a bit of an opening hehhehheh.

There's this guy. He started talking to me because of my hair/Ramona Flowers and we were quoting phrases from Scott Pilgrim, verbatim. The funny thing is he didn't know I'd done my hair kinda sorta because of another guy, but it was adorable how we went back and forth with the quoting.

I was very much impressed by his knowledge of quotes and movies because HELLO?? That's all that ever fills my brain???

So like, I got to know more of him (meaning I went to creep on him online) and he's got like the best job ever (or at least he did, but now he's left and is doing something else but related to the same).

He has an essay published on the New York Times website, which I read and I felt all kinds of feelings about, and he's also done a reddit Ask Me Anything session, also about his job, and generally he loved his work so much and I've never felt so much envy about a job. He really made it seem like the best job ever.

He unabashedly loves and cares about what he's doing, and I have so much admiration for it/him!!!! I am legit impressed by his NYTimes cred as well as his AMA and like, omg the things we talk about, I get so amused by his geekiness!!!!!

I want but don't want to talk about him, because I'm so scared of... I don't know what? Like I just want to SHUSH myself all the time. Shuddup, Sarah, shuddup. I'm at once intimidated by his intelligence but at the same time as a sapiosexual I'm so attracted to it. #scumbagbrain #scumbagheart

He hasn't told me what he does, yet, I don't know if it's precisely because he doesn't want me to start talking like I have to impress him, with all his accomplishments (I think he's a bit of a mini celebrity, so I'm not gonna say his name 'cos if you even Google just his name, Google auto-suggests the establishment he worked for!).

So yes anyway, I don't know. I wonder what I will do if he reads this post sometime in the near future. I think I'll just hide under my bed and no one will ever see me again. Yes that sounds like a legit course of action.

Oh, and you know, this is superficial and I'm gonna own to it right now but he's also CUTE!!!!! BONUS POINTS FOR EVERYONE AHAHAHAHA.

I couldn't help but share a bit of our interactions. I can't believe I met a guy who loves books and words as much as I do!!!!!!!! And movies!!!!!!!! He's a cute Star Wars geek!!!! (not that I know anything about Star Wars besides Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker being siblings)

It has been a most tiring but fulfilling week. Thank you God, for the closure, and for opening up new things. I hope for the best for everyone, and I mean everyone. Life has been good, people are good, food is good.

This week onwards, my off day has actually been shifted from Monday to Sunday, so now my life actually resembles a normal person's schedule just a bit more. Except I still have 6 work days, but one step at a time, I guess.

So Much Love from Sarah Mei Lyana!

Monday, April 06, 2015


(music: Lana Del Rey)

it's you, it's you, it's all for you
everything I do
I tell you all the time:
heaven is a place on earth with you

tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls, honey
is that true?
it's better than I ever even knew

they say that the world was built for two
only worth living if somebody is loving you

So last week, I saw the Pharrell x adidas superstar supercolor collection ad on Youtube (possibly the only ad I've ever actually watched in full?!), decided I need a pair, Tweeted about it, and got them on that very night.

This is relevant because: you'll see later that I highlighted my hair. The first person who said yes to this was Khairi (this was last year, but I only did it now because $$$$). He said to goje, because "if you never try, you'll never know."

Before him, my colleagues had said no for fear that my hair would be damaged, etc. I was happy that he said yes, because I really wanted to and I would have gone for it, anyway. Sometimes I feel he really understood my intensity and he reflected my gojeness.

You know, the first date we went on was because I asked "so are you ever gonna ask me out?" and he said "yes. tonight?" so we met on that night. I loved the spontaneity. Life is too short to hold back.

Last week was a really good week: my colleagues/working family and I had some good times. I watched Friends with my sisters late into the long weekend nights, I met up with my best girlfriends from secondary school and reminisced the past, met my ex-colleagues on Saturday and caught up.

But this post is not about that. Or maybe it is. I felt like I was myself again. I feel like I'm myself again. I really love life and I love myself, and I was and am grateful for all the steps and missteps that I've made, any mistakes, because they've all led me here, and here is a good place to be.

The only thing not-so-right with right here and right now is that my phone is spoilt, and it's now being repaired at the service center. I actually argued with them that it should be fixed for free under warranty. They said it had been "tampered with" but I'd never sent it anywhere, not even for a screen protector.

I still don't know whether they'll repair it for free now, they're supposed to call me back. In any case, I don't have a spare phone to use my SIM card with, so now I'm pretty much uncontactable and I can't contact anyone. It's a temporary issue, though, it'll slide, so life is good.

The people in my life, from my family to my best friends to my colleagues have all been telling me something in common, though. They have not at all belittled my feelings or me for what's been happening with Khairi.

They have mostly been saying: you have to do what you have to do, and if you feel you want to do something for your own happiness, go ahead.

I think I'm finally realising that whatever happened between us, is really between Khairi and myself. Good things happened, shit happened, basically life happens.

So anyway, I watched Scott Pilgrim vs The World last Monday night, and I enjoyed/liked it a lot.

While watching the show, I really loved the Scott/Ramona dynamics, and I thought maybe I could be like Scott. Maybe it's just timing and one day we will be okay. I would fight Khairi's seven evil exes if it had to come to that. I could even fight one guy if I had to (lolol geddit).

Then I thought, what if I'm Knives Chau? I could be Knives in the sense that this is just a one-sided infatuation. Throughout the movie, I pictured myself as Ramona, but maybe Khairi doesn't see me as Ramona.

I don't necessarily mean Ramona Flowers precisely, with her quirks and her "dabbles in bitchiness" etc. I mean, in any story, there is a protagonist and there is a back-up, secondary character that might aid the arc but isn't crucial to it, like Knives.

The thing is, Knives doesn't know that she's the "Knives" character of the story, of Scott's story. Nobody wants to be a back-up character in their story; in her head the entire movie, she's probably the star of her own story. She doesn't know that, until Scott tells her.

I think if I had my phone, I might text Khairi and ask him whether he sees me as a Knives. I want to be Ramona/Scott for him, but it has to go both ways. I want to know whether even if I was a Ramona Flowers/Scott Pilgrim, I would have to be so in another story of my own.

If I am Knives to you, please do one last thing for me and tell me. Please. I don't want to hold or stay on any longer if I know I'm just a Knives. Thank you.

So anyway, today I went to streak my hair a few colours, slightly reminiscent of Ramona Flowers, except I didn't change my whole head of hair. It's still quite dark now, I'm going back on Wednesday to add a few more streaks, for free, 'cos we're neighbours with the salon, hehehe.

For some reason, the fact that I streaked my hair (and had asked for his opinion) reminds me of Khairi asking me whether I preferred guys with facial hair or clean-shaven, and next thing I knew, he had shaved his facial hair. You see, it's these things that no one else knows about that honestly tug at my heartstrings.

I even painted my nails in matching colours for it hahahaha. #semangat

Hopefully the colours are more prominent in a few washes.

There's only one bright pink streak and it's at the back/bottom???? For what fuck???

It's supposed to look like a peacock because it's purple, pink and green.

I tried to hardstyle but I'm not hardstyle material ah, I'm... kental.

Now that I have pink streaks in my hair, I really want to let Khairi see it and I want to be happy with him about something. I really need to know if I'm Knives.

She really didn't know she was the secondary character in the story, even up to after the final showdown with Gideon, she butts in and tries to attack Ramona because she doesn't see that Ramona is the lead.

Nobody wants to be Knives. I keep thinking I'm Ramona Flowers, and if I do a Scott and fight hard enough, something good will happen. But that story doesn't happen for Knives. I just, need Khairi to tell me. Please.

this is what makes us girls
we all look for heaven
and we put love first
something that we'd die for, it's a curse
don't cry about it, don't cry about it

this is what makes us girls
we don't stick together
'cos we put love first