Wednesday, December 17, 2014

WEIGHT OF THE HOPE

(music: Not a Wasted Love - Misty Boyce)

So, ever since Khairi was featured on my Instagram/FB, it's pretty much been the only factor of interest people have taken in me (I geddit, though: new, shiny stuff you've never seen before is always the most attractive).


Shereen was the first on Saturday.

This morning, Chloe and Pamela asked about Khairi.





Interestingly enough, like Huda did in real life, both Chloe and Pamela asked "what about Guillaume?" which made me feel slightly Guilty.

I showed Khairi the conversations with people asking about him.



All he had to say was "am I that interesting?" If he's at all bothered by the attention, he doesn't seem to be showing it.

I think it's interesting that other people (mostly girls) are interested that he's in my life. I think we all (myself very much so) take too much interest in a person's romantic life that it kinda places an unhealthy pressure/priority on everyone.

I mean, why can't a person be interesting on their own merit? Why is it a big deal once they're dating someone? Really, though. We live in too modern an era to emphasise such importance on love.

There is so much that can be done in the current world, because the past few generations fought and toiled for it, because they tried to shape an environment that would allow so much more freedom for much less work, but we choose to find a partner and settle down.

The cutest thing I've seen today was still a screenshot that Han sent me of a conversation with her sister, Syara (whom I've worked with before).


"good choice looks wise" HAHAHA he will be pleased to know. My own sister Lyssa, I think, is the biggest fan of his looks (after myself, but that's obvious considering I swiped him right on Tinder). She keeps saying "no but he's so handsome tho" lulz.



It has actually really been adorable and sweet that they care about me and the person I'm dating. I like that most, if not all, the feedback has been positive and encouraging. Everybody has been so happy for me even though he's not my boyfriend, GUIZE, we've only gone out THRICE.

Even my mum seems to like him. She liked the photo of us on Facebook, at the train station. She rarely approves of me meeting guys, but I think she can tell he's a decent one. And you know mums (as well as grandmas, as an extension of their experience as mums) are always right.

I went slightly berserk on Khairi last night/a few hours ago, telling him my dilemma about G. He hasn't read it because he went to sleep early 'cos he'd cycled to work and back home, etc.

I hadn't replied G since after I'd met Khairi for the first time, but then he asked about me.



I decided to do the most logical thing which was to fill him in on the most basic gist of the issue. Lyssa says I chose the only three things about Khairi that are not appealing to me, and I left out all the rest which I like and adore. She's right, of course HAHAH.

I don't paint the most complete picture but at least he knows of Khairi's existence!!!!!! We have a mutual understanding to meet other people and see what happens, anyway, so this was not out of the agreement.

G read my own issue with Khairi damn fast, with his "who are you gonna argue with???!!" question. He's right, though. That's pretty much been on my mind.

I'm confrontational and I like to thrash things out. If there is a difference in opinions, I like to get down to the bottom of it until there is nothing left to explore. I want to know what the person thinks/feels, why each person feels that way, how and why the two parties can have varying ideas, etc.

I'm not a "let's just leave it" kinda person, because it will niggle at me and drive me nuts.

For the past six months-ish, G has been the one to indulge me whenever I have something to rant or ramble about.

We discussed at length, things ranging from work environments in our respective countries, infidelity in couples and whether either gender would be predisposed to being unfaithful, feminism and how it ties in with religion (specifically mine since he's not religious), and so on and so forth.

He also does not read my blog, nor see my social media. He read it once, and knows I'm very open, was completely cool with his name in screenshots everywhere (on my blog/FB), then he never read it again, I think.

What he knows of me is even more unfiltered, uncensored, uncut, I would say. I show him the craziest side of me, my nastiest thoughts that I would not put in public, and he's worked it all out with me. He understands what I feel based on what I've told him about my family, my background, etc.

Because G and I are very similar, I think we both bounce off each other's ideas and sharpen our own mindsets and wits with feedback from the other. He's most definitely one of my top choices in men if I were to go with my sapiosexual side and fall for intelligence.

On the other hand, Khairi is more mellow. He's the complete opposite of both G and myself. I'm afraid I will be overwhelming and overbearing, and that I will feel.... unsatisfied if all he does is give in to me or not talk things out with me.

I also see the positive side of it, though. Maybe he will be my foil. Instead of having someone indulge me in my strengths, maybe it would be better to hone the things I'm lacking in instead, like my patience.

It's way too soon to tell whether Khairi and I would work out with each other. We've only been out three times, but here's why it matters now. In the three times we've met, I've gotten close enough to him to like him as much as someone I've gotten to know over half a year.

It's really different, being able to meet somebody in real life. The enjoyment level I get from Khairi insisting on feeding me a cupcake (SWEET LEVEL TAHAP MAKSIMA) is cray. Or him knowing the stupidest shit I do, like drop crumbs all over during a meal, and laughing it off. G can't possibly know that because he's never seen me eat.

Or even the simple fact that Khairi reads my blog, which I think is really sweet. On the one hand, it's not as personal as myself rambling on to him via text or whatever, because it is catered to the public. I think it means he cares, though, like he wants to know what matters enough for me to portray to everyone else.

It's about the same as my best friends reading my blog, although they know me inside-out already. They just wanna know what else is going on in my life, so that they don't miss anything. I think it's adorable whenever they do this.

I don't know if the text I sent him and this blogpost are going to push him away, but if it does, it's okay. Then it just shows he and I are incompatible.

It is his birthday now, though. Here is a fun fact for you. My birthdate, 11, and his birthdate, 17, make my favourite number, 28. My birth month, May/5, and his birth month, December/12, make his favourite number, 17.

Yeah that was completely useless and crazy but who cares. I like it.

Happy birthday Khairi! You are now 28, my favourite age!!!! :)

If you're freaked out by all this, it was nice knowing you while it lasted! If you still like me seriously enough, well congratulations, I like you too, and I'm still down to date you with the intention of trying for something serious. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

DIDN'T WANNA SETTLE DOWN

(music: Somebody to You - The Vamps)


Connor sempat adjust his hoodie, hahaha. Oh, The Vamps. They're such QTPIES. The moment they have a concert in Singapore, I'll be the first to get my ticket!!!!!!!


Still one of my favourite covers ever, I love my babies having fun. So adorable. And the sampling of No Woman No Cry. I will never get over this cover because the original by Jason Derulo is so TRASHY (both the audio and music video).

On Sunday, I met the Tasties for dinner at The Lab. We saw Hazwani and her boyfriend Taufiq (Taufik?) there, they said they really enjoyed their food.




Shahida having fun mixing her drink, the Heisenberg.


We shared the Gehaktbals, meatballs stuffed with cherry tomatoes. Very moist and soft.


The De La Huerta is a bell pepper stuffed with cheese and mushrooms. I really liked this a lot.


We also ordered the Heisenberger. I'd ask you to take note of how it looks, except it's a top-down photo, which is useless.

So we were sharing everything, and I initially didn't touch my portion of the Heisenberger because I'd already tried it during my previous visit. They kept saying it was dry and I was surprised, because the one I'd had was anything but dry, there was so much sauce (served with blue cheese and tomato salsa).

I told them maybe the patty was overcooked this time, which is sad, because the patty was supposed to be so good.

After I'd tried everything else, I started on my portion of the burger and found that it was completely dry. It wasn't the patty, there just weren't any sauces like the blue cheese or the tomato salsa. I told Rhel about it, so Rhel checked it out.

Apparently, the chef who had prepared it (whom I actually know and used to be quite pally with at work) said the blue cheese and salsa had run out, so he served it to us without those things???

Word got to Luke and Ejan, and they were very apologetic about it, of course. The chef himself didn't seem to feel any remorse because he didn't come out to say sorry or whatever. I felt quite let down, although I know he's not the head chef, and I also personally know the head chef, who would never have done such a thing.

(I bought the head chef chocolate milk yesterday, because he asked for it HAHAHA. Man I miss the times of working with them, all of them.)

Sometimes it's really hard to judge an eatery because the owners can't do quality control over every single item out of the kitchen, but I know Luke nor Ejan wouldn't have allowed such a thing to happen if they had known.

I really felt quite bad towards my best friends, 'cos I'd been hyping it up so much and the impression they got of the burger was a negative one instead. The good thing is they enjoyed everything else and they said they would return to taste the real Heisenberger. :)

Despite my ardent support of The Lab, by virtue of being bros with Luke, and their food being tasty and unique, this is why I still know they have some way to go to match up to my workplace (granted, they're just starting out).

The people at I am... would never have done such a thing. You just don't serve something that's not up to standard. That's why I am... received the Food and Service Excellence award, everybody in our cafe takes pride in what they do. I mean everybody. Everybody has a part to contribute. Love my family....



Shahida had read my blogpost about Khairi so she was not-so-sneakily trying to hear me talk about him, and I filled them in. I think I break into a dorky grin whenever I talk about him, so I try not to.


We sat at Starbucks afterwards, and tried to plan a year-end celebration together. I hope it goes through, would love to spend more time with them after the crazy busy year we've all had. I love my girls!!!!

/shameless, but: to any of my friends working in hotels reading this, if y'all have vacancies (or deals) for NYE/1 Jan, could you please let me know? THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU

Yesterday, I celebrated Huda's birthday at *drumroll, please!* The Lab. I couldn't help it, Huda has been about as excited as I am about the cafe, and she really loves it, so I thought it would be the perfect place to spend time with her.

We met Reen and her closest cousins Nasha and Nadia (I think??) hehehe yayyy for bumping into people you like.



Luke was outside and he was signalling something to me. I texted him, and he made me giggle because "balloon / wheres e ballooon / i want balloons / balloons" and Huda thought I was giggling because I was texting Khairi HAHAHA YESSA GOOD COVER.


I had a tuna mango sandwich. It was okay. I liked it, but I mean, it's just a sandwich. Remember to try their burgers and other more interesting main courses!



Huda had the Heisenberger again, I tasted it and it was as good as it should rightfully be. Also we liked our sweet potato fries, which match her dress.


The Lab helped me to surprise Huda with a cake customised just for her, and the entire cafe sang for her. :)


Happy birthday Huda. I love you and I mean my birthday message to you, even if it was written on coasters (I am a shite friend --- in my defence I really did get her a nice card from a bookstore but I used a black marker to write her name on the envelope and it freaking seeped through to the card itself so I had to throw it away ERGHHHHH).




The cake was butterscotch caramel biscuit thing, and Huda loved it.

I'm so grateful to Luke and Ejan and all the staff at The Lab for helping me out! Huda also gave a slice of cake to Reen and her cousins, who are all so pretty and adorable (runs in the blood eh).

Also Luke is still the same bro, always. He saw me and said "you look shagged... what did you do last night?" with that glint in his eye. He just wanted an in to ask me that question!!! THIS BOY AH.



Huds gets to be taller than me for her birthday. ;P




Somebody parked their motorbike there so it wasn't good for photos. :(



I LOVE QT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!








Huda agreed to do #hardstyle because she loves me and also because she likes Khairi given that he's also a December baby.


She wants a bike too. I can just picture her on a fixie, cycling around aimlessly, lost in her own musical world.


We saw this and I thought of my daughter Faz, and the older guy she's dating. So adorable.

Speaking of daughters and sons, you know how when Haiqal (QTPie) and I were getting to know each other, he wasn't my son unlike everyone else in the cafe who are all my children?


He's apparently been officially adopted as my son now. HAHAHA why he so qtpie one. "Ma got pa baru eh? / Son must know. Son must vet" HAHAHAHAH OMG I CANNOT takde cute lagi. We've got plans for open water diving, anyone from the cafe reading this siapa nak join jom let's go.



Happy birthday Huda!


She texted me a sweet thank-you message and I got reminded of the time I was in The Lab for the first time, when Huds was there with Jeems and Ja. Huda and I were reminiscing the times we both kept circlejerking each other when we were friends on the internet.

Srija asked what circlejerk is and she really looked it up on urbandictionary hahahahahaha. I cannot. I love Srija in the creepiest way possible.

(ANYWAY HUDA YOU ARE WELCOME. It's so easy to do things for people who appreciate it?)

So remember I said Khairi is a December baby too? I'm gonna miss his birthday tomorrow 'cos my family's heading to Malaysia for a short vacay till Saturday, so Huda gave me a slice of cake to pass to him. I also got him a Baymax figurine because the guy is a CHILD who likes cutesy stuff like Baymax.




He demonstrated #hardstyle at the train station platform, with his ridiculous #gameface.

Ahhhhhhh. All my feels.



Battle of the punniest: Huda or Khairi?

I've chosen one of Huda's puns as his blog label.

In any case, at The Lab yesterday, Huda asked what happened to Guillaume and whether G knows about Khairi. I said G doesn't, although I've told him about the other guys I've met and talked to, etc. She asked why I didn't tell G about Khairi.....

AW man why do choices exist.

If I tell G, that's it. He won't tell me about Christmas with his family, or his winter vacation off work, or or or anything. That's it!!!!!! All my months of investing my feelings into his brains and heart and well-being and life. And he was there for multiple cycles of my PMS, quarrels with my mum, troubles at work, etc......

I'm not hyperventilating. Shizz man I tried so hard. C'mon Sarah the choice is clear.

I won't be around for the next few days, I hope y'all have a really good one to wrap up the year! I love you all very, very, very much and wish only the best for everyone.